May I? May I not?

Well, here we are. It's May. I submitted my PNQs more than a month ago. I submitted my OMS application more than a month ago.

And as of yet, I still do not know the outcome. There's a beauty in that. No news means no one has said NO yet. That was a highly awkward sentence. Too many Nos. Anyway, I'm still waiting.

I got a jumpstart to my anxiety when it was reported that some OMS OA invites went out last week. No one has reported any rejections yet, but of course this all means that if invitations are happening, rejections are sure to follow. They can't invite all 1000+ of us who applied to an OA, after all. We don't all get the shiny star. Unfortunately, there is no consolation prize. All or nothing.

Well, that's all pretty bleak sounding. I don't mean it to be! My life is marching on. I'm enjoying my job in a way I never have previously. My boyfriend and I are solid--we're taking a vacation to the mountains at the end of this month, and in July we're headed to Colorado for his family reunion. So... some travel in the cards, the weather is good...

But COME ON! I need to know. Seriously.

The Waiting Game

Personal Narratives = Submitted.
OMS Application = Submitted.

What do I do now? Wait.

There is so much waiting in this process. So. Much. Waiting. Sometimes I don't mind. I play it cool and tell folks that it doesn't matter either way what happens. If only that were true! It totally matters. I want this year to be my year.

I want to get some good news. I've been at this stage before, and while I'm happy to be here again (knowing that so many don't get this far), I'd like to experience the joys/frustrations of the next stage.

Before I can experience any of that, however--I wait.

Pondering the QEP

The sun is shining today, and after a few errands, I'm going hiking with mi novio. It's going to be a good day.

My highly awesome friend (of Tabbies in Tow fame) is headed to DC today to begin her career as an FSS-OMS. She's a BAMF in case anyone was wondering. I hope to catch up to her at post someday.

However, that is pending QEP. What phase will the moon be in when my file is reviewed? Will my file reach the bottom of the staircase first? Who will I have to thunderdome with to get what I want?

I write in jest, but the QEP is a heartwrenching stage in the FS hiring process. After each round, the rejected think "Why not me? Don't they know that I cured cancer? Don't they know that awesomeness pours from my butt?" In case of that last question, they should probably get that checked. At any rate, QEP can seem opaque. People get butthurt over the results, and it's hard to acknowledge that maybe, just maybe... the narratives weren't quite right. Or the application wasn't worded appropriately. Or the test scores weren't good enough.

You can speak three SCNLs and still be a tool, after all. That's just one part of the package.

I've failed the QEP once. It sucked, and I was not amused. However, most people I know in this process have failed the QEP at one point in time or another. Here's what is heartening--some of these people have gone on to PASS the QEP the second (or third) time around.

Anyway, the QEP is imminent. I've got my narratives written and revised, and I feel good about them. I'll look at them in another few days, but right now, I am letting my head clear. One thing I learned about writing is that it's good to let your work sit for a day or two. It gives the brain a chance to reset, and fresh eyes catch things tired eyes don't.

In the meantime, I will enjoy the sunshine.

Writing Personal Narratives

Jane Austen likened her writing to etching on a tiny piece of ivory, three inches wide. It was fine work, but small and precise.

This is how I'm trying to think of the Personal Narratives. We have 1300 characters (including spaces) to tell a story based on our experiences and answer questions about those experiences. It's not a lot of room to get the job done. There is no room for excess information and detail, and the need to answer those questions is dire. They're not Yes/No questions. Explain. Detail. Describe the steps. That sounds straightforward, but given the character limit, it's simply much more challenging. How much is too much? How little is too little?

I wrote the first of my narratives yesterday. It took me a couple of hours, but I think it's moving in the right direction. I'm going to work on more today. How can so few words take so much time? Well, it's the thought behind it. I write out my first pass. I think about it. Edit, rewrite, revision. I look at the questions. I look at what I wrote. I look at the guidelines on the DoS site. I look at what I wrote. I rewrite. I edit. I think.

It's a fine bit of ivory. I don't want to scratch it.

I Must Have Tiger Blood

Well, after a harrowing couple of days refreshing the Results webpage, swooning when I saw a new PNQ prompt on my registration page, and trying to remain focused (failing, mostly), I've discovered that I have passed the February 2011 FSOT!

Whew!

However, there's a twist--there are SIX Personal Narrative Questions this time around. Two essays on the FSOT, six PNQs... thanks a pantsload, DOS.

Ah well. Here's my score breakdown this time around:

JK: 56.76
Bio: 62.30
EE: 59.67
Total: 178.73

Essay: 8

I'm most surprised about the essay part of it. An 8? Really? I must have been off my game that day! Oh well. I hadn't practiced writing an essay in more than a year at that point. For all my work as a technical writer, I really write very little new content. I need to get in the habit of writing in my free time. Plus, I miss writing.

So that is that! On to Phase 2: PNQ Thunderdome.

FSOT of the Damned

Well... I took the FSOT yesterday. As you know by now, it was my second round, the first being in October 2009. Back then, I picked Consular. This time, I picked Public Diplomacy.

I cannot reveal content due to the NDA, but hooooooey, there were some headbangers on that Job Knowledge section! That test certainly did not leave me with a warm and fuzzy feeling. I remember walking out of the October 2009 test thinking, "Hmm. That seemed alright. I don't feel too bad!" This time, I walked out thinking, "Well, that was unpleasant."

EE was fine. Bio was fine. Essays were worded trickily, but they both went well enough. I did the usual five paragraph crank-out for both essays, and they were coherent. It seems that JK is going to be the wild card.

We'll see how it goes. Results will be reported in 3-5 weeks.

Here we go, here we go, here we go again

I said, Here We Go Again!

Today I received my invitation to schedule a seat for the FSOT. All the PD invites are starting to go out today, and fortunately, I was among the crowd.

I am still freaked out to be pursuing such a competitive cone, but I think it's a good fit. If it's meant to be, it'll happen. And it might not happen for a while... but that's okay. I'll keep trying.

So yes. I'm scheduled for the test. February 7th is the big day. I'd rather take the test on a Friday, but the testing facility isn't open on that particular day of the week. At least the facility is closer! And at least the facility is in the same town as my boyfriend. It'll make things easier. I can crash at his place, and then I can get up and be ready to go at the exam in ten minutes flat. This works for me.

I think I'll try to recreate my testing experience from last year as much as possible. Sunday, I'll take it easy. Have a good derby practice, eat a leisurely lunch, and get a pedicure. No studying. Drive to my boyfriend's place. Monday will be the test. I'll take that whole day off from work--keep my mind clear for what's important.

Game time. I love having crazy study goals like these. I haven't cracked a book yet, but I will start today. I'm not worried about the essay, even though there will be TWO of them this round. I'm also not worried about English Expression. I might skim a practice test in that, but English is my strength here. Bio... well, I'll do what I can! As always, the mysterious beast is Job Knowledge.

I feel strangely exhilarated by all of this. I always kind of enjoyed studying and taking tests in school. I think that's why I liked being on academic teams. You got questions? I got answers!

Anyway... I'm off to plan out my curriculum.

Project FSOT like it's hot begins NOW.

A New Year

Well, duh. Of course it's a new year. Everyone knows that. Except for people operating on a different calendar.

Anyway, today I submitted my registration for the FSOT. This will be my second attempt at the exam, and this time I signed up for the Public Diplomacy cone. I thought a long time about the various tracks, and the reality is, I like more than one of them. But after reviewing my resume and thinking about my work experience, I realized that PD is the best match for what I've already done with my life. It is also a good match for what I hope to do with my life, which is to help cultures build bridges and appreciate one another.

Ugh. I vom a little just seeing myself write that. I mean, I believe it. Deeply. This is what I'd like to do, but it simply sounds like such a Girl Scout thing to say. I was never a Girl Scout.

Needless to say, I'm nervous and excited. I passed the FSOT last time, but I didn't make it past the QEP stage. Now I've picked an ultra-competitive cone at a time when the registers are full, full, full, and the government decision makers are cut-cut-cutting the State Department's budget.

What can I do? Study hard and take the FSOT. Everything else is beyond my control.

I did try for the OMS position again when they reposted it. I wrote a pretty kickbutt series of narratives for the job application, too. Unfortunately, 12 months had not passed since my slapdash attempt at the OMS job in February. Next time. Next time.

I guess... stay posted for further updates. I'm awaiting an e-mail invitation to schedule my test. PD invites have not yet gone out, and as I am a very late registrant, I might not get a seat for the February window. I'd rather not wait until June, but shit happens.

Disappointment is My Favorite Flavor

Well, I got bounced out of the OMS running. There is always next year. C'est la vie!

FSOT in October. This time, with feeling.

MCAS, betch!

Another step forward. This ho done passed her MCAS in Word 2007. THUG LIFE. Now, hopefully, in two months, I will get news I want to hear from the State Department about being invited to the Oral Assessment for the FSS-OMS position.

Fingers crossed. Toes crossed. Cat's tail knotted and crossed. MEOW!

Foreign Service Specialist?

Well, I'm still vying for the FS after all. Right after I got my sad news from BEX about my FSO candidacy being shut down, I threw in an application to the Foreign Service Specialist -- Office Management Specialist field.

Basically, the FSS role is the day to day support of US Embassies. They are people who do IT work, HR, Office Management, Doctorin', etc. They aren't diplomats, but they are there in support of the US mission. They get to travel and do the good work, just in a different capacity. So I thought--why the hell not? And happily, I actually have more academic credentials than needed for the position, and some experience that I think translates into Office work.

OMS used to be referred to as FS-Secretary. I'm glad the title has changed! Secretary doesn't really describe what OMS workers do. It's more of a "My Man (or Woman) Friday" role than typist, which is what the word "secretary" makes me think of. I can do this. I can be someone's "Manservant Hecubus." See Kids in the Hall for the reference.

Anyway, I applied. And yesterday, they got back to me--they want to see my MCAS certification in Word 2007! I know it's just a small step forward, but at least they weren't like "GTFO!" or "Who the F do you think you are?" Those aren't my favorite reactions from people/potential employers. I guess I just have to go ahead and get the MCAS now. Hmm. Good thing I already know Word pretty well. Time to study! Thundercats are GO!

In other news, PAE also said I might be a potential match for some of their Embassy Support positions in Moscow/Beijing. And I've been applying for jobs in Kuwait, Djibouti, etc. One of these days, something amazing is going to happen. I just know it.

Breaking news: Ms. Saffy Monsoon is definitely up for an adventure. Yeah, big surprise there.

The Foreign Service is my ultimate goal. Be it as an FSO or an FSS, that is what I absolutely, most definitely want. The moment either of those things become a reality... well, I'd be beyond happy. In the meantime, however, I want to get some international experience. I'm young. I have no husband. I have no children. I should do this. I've talked about it my whole life, so I might as well just work like a dervish and make it happen. It's time to turn dreams into reality.

Don't Give Up

Well, I heard back from the lovely BEX contingent with my QEP Results.

Do not pass go, do not collect $500.

Needless to say, I am disappointed. I had hopes. I know it is not arbitrary, but based on the anecdotal evidence on the Yahoo forums--it certainly seems that way. At any rate, I'm going to retake the FSOT in October, and I'm going to start the process over. If it's as arbitrary as it feels, I could very well be arbitrarily selected next time around!

I may rethink my cone decision however. I had picked the Consular cone, but Public Diplomacy (which is a "tougher" cone to get into) feels like a good fit as well. It seems to play more to my talents and experience, while Consular works with my aspirations to work hard and fight the good fight in the trenches of Diplomacy. Ah well. I have about six months to see how I feel.

In the meantime, I'm going to begin studying French, and I'm going to try to be more active in the community... It's time to get my life a little more in order. Things are better in January 2010 than they were in January 2009. I am not without hope that things will get better. They're already pretty good.

As I learned in X-Files: I Want to Believe--Don't Give Up.

There is always hope. There is always a chance. And hell--at least I know more about the FS than I did before I started this process. I already know that I'm capable of passing the FSOT, and that's definitely an important hurdle.

Harder. Better. Faster. Stronger.

Don't Give Up.

Tryptophan Haze

It was a beautiful day for Thanksgiving. The air was cool, and the sun was shining. A perfect fall day. The turkey came out well--I have never made turkey before, so it was an adventure--especially since I couldn't find an actual bird to roast. I ended up throwing two turkey breast tenderloins in a crockpot (with some white wine, sliced granny smith apple, leeks, rosemary, thyme, and lemon juice), and to my relief, it was tasty. The stuffing was fine (though I have a ridiculous amount of it left--good thing it's my favorite dish at T-giving!), as were my brussels sprouts. Thank goodness. The last thing I wanted was a terrible dinner. Especially since I only have my illustrious companion kitty, to help me eat it.

I wish I had been able to spend the day with my parents--but they live far away. I don't have any other family, and after a disastrous T-giving last year, I've made it a policy to not accept invitations.

So, a lonely Turkey Day... but a peaceful one, which I can fully support.

FSOT Score Breakdown

Last Friday, I submitted my FSOT Score Breakdown Request. Today, the much-anticipated breakdown came in the mail. Here are the results:

Job Knowledge: 64.29
Biographic Info: 55.29
English Expression: 59.35

Total: 178.93

Essay: 10

I'm happy with these results. The essay is where I hoped it would be (at a minimum, admittedly), and my Bio score is much more solid than I had anticipated. My JK and EE should be reversed in my opinion, but hey--I didn't score the test! No one really knows precisely how the T-scores are determined, or what the test is potentially "out of." It's a mystery for the ages. All I know is this: a minimum T-score of 154 is required for the essay to be scored, and a minimum essay score of 6 is required to pass.

The essay is out of a possible 12 points, however.

Anyway, I just wanted to document this step in my journey. On Tuesday, the PNQs are due for QEP review. I hope you like all of these TLAs, because if this FSO dream comes true, they will become more frequent. But that event, however, is TBD.

How and Why the FS?

I'll admit, I haven't always known about the Foreign Service. I mean, I knew what a diplomat was--I've lived overseas, and I knew about embassies and all that jazz. However, I didn't know about the Foreign Service as an institution.

My academic background is solidly within the humanities, and my career field has little to do with travel and government shenanigans. I guess you could say that aside from my overseas experience and what I've seen in the news, it simply hasn't come up. The one thing I've always maintained in life is that I'd like to do something meaningful and useful, and I'd like to travel.

And so. I finished my MA in May, and I was without employment. But one day, while I was loafing on the couch (I won't pretend I was more active than that at that particular moment), my phone rang. It was my Dad, and he was calling me in the middle of his workday. He was excited. Very excited. He'd seen something in the newspaper, and it just couldn't wait.

"There's an ad in the paper! They're having some kind of informational session up at the UW about the Foreign Service. The blurb says they're recruiting."

My reaction was... well, not one of total excitement. I was interested, but I didn't even know what the Foreign Service was, and based on my education, I wasn't convinced I was eligible for government work. I told Dad that it seemed great, but that I was probably unqualified.

My Dad, ever the optimist, always my biggest fan: "You're qualified for everything you want to do. You should look this up. There's a website--go to it. Besides, the ad says they're having a hiring surge. This could be your shot."

If Dad had had his way that day, I would have registered right then for the June FSOT. But fortunately, I humored him, and I went to the State Department website like a dutiful daughter. I read the job description. More significantly, I read the requirements. US Citizen--check. At least 20 years of age--check. And, that was pretty much it. I was astonished. I had not thought a girl with an English degree could have job like that.

But apparently, I could. I read the State Department website backward and forward. I read about all the FS jobs. I read about all of the Cones (career tracks) in the FS. I took the quiz to see where I matched up. Consular. A clear choice for me. I started reading FS blogs and Googling and Googling everything I could. I bought the official test book.

Unfortunately, I couldn't register for the test right away. I was in transition, and I wasn't sure where I'd be living by the end of the summer--or by the end of the month. So I just kept reading the materials. I bought some books to review for the FSOT, and I pondered this potential path.

A long path. A rigorous one. The odds weren't good. But. As my Dad would say, there's no way to get what I want in life if I never try.

I guess the question remains: Why? Why was I so thunderstruck?

Sure, the travel is always a factor. I'm a rebel, and living in Bishkek sounds pretty sweet to me. It's really much more than that, however. The FS would allow me to do something meaningful with my life. If I were in Consular services, I'd adjudicate visas--people would either be happy or upset by my decisions. The right people would enter our country, and hopefully, the wrong people would be kept out. Critical! If I worked with AmCits, I'd help people who got in over their heads while overseas.

In fact, it was in reading the Consular Cone stuff on the State Department website that I realized AmCit services played a critical role in my life at one point. When I was a little girl, my mother and I were evacuated from Riyadh (twice) during the Persian Gulf War. It became clear that it would have been the US Embassy that made this happen. It was kind of a DUH moment for me, but it also made me feel like I could do something to reciprocate this. I had been helped--why not help others? Hell, based on was the website said, I was qualified anyway.

So you see, it wasn't just a spur of the moment thing. I thought about it. Between the time I was informed of the FS' existence by my Dad and when I finally registered for the exam, it had been a few months. It never left my mind. It was simply one of those moments where I thought: "This is what I want."

I hope it happens. I'm trying!

Let me tell you, it felt damn good to pass the FSOT. I know it's the lowest of the hurdles, and that I could be shot down like a SCUD missile by the QEP, but at least I know I can make it this far. I just keep thinking to myself: I can do this. I am qualified.

And my Dad and my Mom are rooting for me. Good enough.

A Long Road Ahead

So on October 10, 2009, I took the Foreign Service Officer Test (FSOT).

For those of you who don't know, the FSOT is one of many steps in becoming an FSO. The process is long and rigorous (That's What She Said). For example, here is what must happen before a person gets to be an FSO:

1. Register for the FSOT (lengthy application)
2. Schedule a date/location for the FSOT
3. Take the FSOT

If you pass:

1. Write the Personal Narratives
2. Qualitative Evaluation Panel

If you pass:

1. Schedule Oral Assessment date/location
2. Take the Oral Assessment

If you pass:

1. Medical Clearance
2. Security Clearance
3. Final Suitability Review

If you pass:

1. Register
2. THE CALL to A-100

As you can see, there are a lot of steps. Thousands of people take the FSOT every year (something like 30,000), and only a few hundred ever become FSOs. This process takes anywhere from 9 to 18 months, and it only has a general success rate of 2 or 3%. It's not easy! The scary thing is, some people make it to the Register, but if their name isn't called within a certain number of months, they have to start over from the very beginning. I soooo do not want to be one of those people if I get that far. That would be a nightmarish scenario.

Anyway, that's a brief overview of the process. I'll write a lot more about it as time goes on, since the FS is the big ambition in my life right now.

And for the record, I found out a week ago that I passed the FSOT! I am now writing my personal narratives to submit to the QEP (due November 17, 2009).

Getting Started

I used to blog... so I'm giving it another whirl. I've started a new chapter in my life, and out of some over-inflated sense of self-importance, I've decided to document it. Likely, I'll be an itinerant blogger, but I will try to be better than that.

Here is where I stand in life:

• I earned an MA in May.
• I live in a small town.
• I work for a tech firm.
• I am currently on my first pass at becoming a Foreign Service Officer.
• I have a cat.

That's about it!